How to talk to an employee about personal hygiene (with a scored example)

This conversation happens in a closed room, not after a team meeting, not on a walk past other desks, not in a “quick chat” that other people can read. You are about to talk about someone’s body. If you cannot guarantee privacy, you wait an hour and find a room. You also do it soon. Waiting because you are embarrassed is how a team starts talking about a person who has not been given a chance to fix it. Delay is not kindness. It is gossip with a management title.

Use adult words. “I need to talk to you about body odour. Colleagues have noticed it, and it is affecting how people work with you. I want this resolved, and I want to do that without making this a public story.” Then be quiet. They may be mortified. They may get defensive. Both are normal. Jokes, euphemisms, and “some people have mentioned a smell” that you never attach to a body part are how you create shame without giving them something they can act on. Direct is respectful. Cute is not.

They will ask. You do not hand over a list. You also do not invent a mysterious “several people” if it was one brave colleague — you can say the concern came from more than one source if that is true, or that you are not going to name individuals. The standard is the workplace, not a trial of the reporters. Then move to the practical: laundry, uniforms, medical support, occupational health, a check-in date. Curiosity about the source is often a way to avoid the issue. Let them have the feeling. Do not give them a hunt.

Once two people have told you, or you have observed it yourself in a way you can stand behind, waiting is how the team starts managing the person without them. Book a private room. Do not do it at their desk, on a walk through an open floor, or as a “quick one” after standup. Acas’s guidance on challenging conversations is blunt about privacy and preparation. Write the opening sentence before you sit down. If you cannot say “body odour” out loud in an empty room, you are not ready to say it to them.

You are there for a workplace standard, not a diagnosis. Offer occupational health or HR if they want it. Do not ask about hormones, diet, or laundry habits you are not qualified to discuss. Agree a practical next step — they will address it, you will check in next week, support is available — and stop. A follow-up a few days later confirms it is resolved or that they need help. Months of silence is how whispering returns. Disability discrimination rules matter here: if a condition is involved, you adjust the support, you do not hold a trial, and you still keep a reasonable workplace standard. If they ask you to tell the team it is “sorted,” you can say you have addressed it. You do not owe the team a story about their body. Close the loop with the reporters the same way: addressed, private, no details.

Hinting for weeks. Doing it in a group. Pairing it with unrelated performance criticism so it feels like an ambush. Asking invasive medical questions you are not qualified to ask. Promising it will “just stay between us” if you may need HR. Laughing because you are nervous. Practise the first thirty seconds until they are boring. If the opening is clean, the rest is mostly listening and a dated follow-up. If the opening is a mess, no amount of later kindness repairs it.